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Yaadon se tere riha to ho gaye hum
magar man ab mera khali ho gaya.
I am the color of night, shrouded in blue
Walls around me, windows so few,
Stillness unbroken, silent and eternal.
I stand alone, unyielding, unsmiling,
I touch no one and no one touches me,
I am the color of night.
Darkness is real, everything else a illusion,
Feel the dark, stifling, closing on you,
Loneliness is beautiful, because you can be you,
Embrace it, it is your only true friend,
Silence all around, stillness unbroken,
Still is your heart, unheard but beating,
Stay quiet and you can hear the bird
And the whisper of the trees,
And there is nothing more you need.
Voices are harsh, they are not needed,
They are all lonely, they don’t touch you,
Nor you them, they don’t need you.
You don’t need those eyes, those weary faces.
Ah, youth, temporary, ephemeral
One day will fade away, and all will be grey.
Be the color of night, melt into it,
Cover yourself in the inky murkiness
And fade out, like the lights do when they
are turned off.
Sleep then on your bed, tired and happy.
Alone at last for eternity.
After finishing my gym, I was thinking, now I should be meeting someone, and be having a cup of coffee and have some interesting conversation, or maybe I could just pick up the phone and call someone and we can talk. Well, its the middle of the day, and during that time of the day, one cannot talk. Talking is restricted, compartmentalized. We live in a world which is fuelled by greed. The Greedy owners, and the equally greedy employees, who want to be in their good books by working hard and harder, so that they don’t lose their jobs, so that they can be in the best of the companies and earn the highest salary. A toxic world where there is no time for people to converse. There is barely some time to talk to your spouse, and then lower down the ladder, children, and even lower friends. People starting for work at 6:30 AM and coming home at 6:30 PM. Weekends are piled up with thinking about how to catch up with pending work. No real peace. Pretended laughter. Fake parties. Fuzzed, overworked toxic brains. How long will we continue with this world where companies have basically reduced people to paid “slaves”. With no time for fellow humans. No time to converse or talk. People dont care about that anymore. Talking? Waste of time. Its a toxic, greedy world.
As we get older, we dont get lonelier. We just realise how alone we always were.
If I see another wedding pic on FB, I am going to puke! Say Aye if wedding pics make you throw up! All that extravaganza for a life of future misery. Jewellery, costumes, huge decadent banquets, decked-up guests. Come wedding day, and you are suddenly transformed into a prince and princess for a day. A fr…g day! And then after a few years….you feel like throwing up to see your own and your husband’s sugary smiles…full of hope for god knows what! And then when I see wedding pics now, It just makes me feel like throwing up or laughing till I die! If there is anything that can be clubbed as the fakest thing in this world…its marriage.
Sometimes you meet someone who takes you back to what you were, and you see yourself in them. But they don’t see you as you were, they only have a sense of what you were, but you try to mask it and cloak it. That’s what brought you together , but he tries and can’t see the real you, because you are unable to show your true self under the layers of fakness and fear you have accumulated over the years. I want to say to you : “What you thought of me, that is what I am. What you saw me as, that is not me, not what I truly am. I could not be my true self.You…Are my reflection…of my hidden real self.”