Love

My love was a captive bird.

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Maybe someday you may make a mistake…

and wander into my streets, by mistake, my love.

My love remained inside, unsaid, captive in my heart,

Never got a chance to be free and flowing like a

Meandering carefree stream.

It just fluttered inside like a captive bird, and then

Sat quietly, hopeless and giving up.

Longingly I looked for the blue,

The blue of your eyes, the blue of your smile.

The sun set and closed another day.

And I asked you yet again,

Cant I be with you for a while,

I don’t ask a lifetime, for that is too long,

Stay and hold me close and let me feel your heart

Beating near my face,

Under the shade of the tree lets sit,

And forget time, age and place…

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Meri duniya..teri duniya.

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Tumhare liye the ansoon.

Jinka mol magar kuch nahi tha.

Bas bathe the apni dhun mein..

Kabhi shaamon ko kabhi subah

Tum the apne khayalon mein

Rangeen thi tumhari duniya

Dost the tumhare bahot…

Khamosh thi magar..meri duniya

Na awaaz koi, na hi koi umang..

Bas yaadein thi tumhari..aur wohi

thi meri choti si duniya..

Reflection

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Sometimes you meet someone who takes you back to what you were, and you see yourself in them. But they don’t see you as you were, they only have a sense of what you were, but you try to mask it and cloak it. That’s what brought you together , but he tries and can’t see the real you, because you are unable to show your true self under the layers of fakness and fear you have accumulated over the years.  I want to say to you : “What you thought of me, that is what I am.  What you saw me as, that is not me, not what I truly am. I could not be my true self.You…Are my reflection…of my hidden real self.”

How do you move on..

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How do you move on with life

When life does not want you?

How do you keep walking?

When the ground beneath you has sunk?

How do you wake up everyday?

When your sun is not there?

How do you look at the night sky?

When the stars have gone out?

How do you feel the breeze?

When you cannot feel anymore?

How do you live?

When you are already dead?

A confession of Love….

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I happened to be chatting to my old childhood friend that other night when things turned totally bizzare. We had known each other when we were teenagers, we really liked each other but I moved away after knowing him for 3 years. We lost touch for almost 15 years then got chatting again for the past few years and we have been just friends..but then, this happened. Well, he had pinged me the other day saying he needed to talk to me. We usually texted on phone or on FB but tonight he wanted to videochat. Well, we started chatting on VC, when he said all of a sudden, “You are beautiful…..”.and went on to say, “He loves me..always had! He said I was too good for him, so he could never tell me or contact me”. He says that after all these years he had denied to himself that I was the girl he had always loved. I did not know what to say. Should I laugh, should I cry? Should I believe him or not? He was drunk. It could be the alcohol talking but I guess it must have been there in his sub conscious all this time, so that, that night it all came pouring out. He said he failed in his relationships because of me. He said I had been fickle. How could I forget him? How could I leave him and go away to foreign countries? I always had a hunch that he loved me, something always pulled at me, all through my life, yet that night was still a shock. I just kept staring at him, playing with my fingers, looking down and sometimes up at him. We laughed and we cried. I was shocked to see him crying. We cried at all the time wasted, the years spent searching for love, when we had already found love, all those years back. He told me “I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen”, like “ever seen”. How old fashioned is that! But he said it, and it shocked me. Noone had ever said this to me. I told him, “I had loved him too…and He was the handsomest guy I had ever seen”. And I did not think I was that beautiful. But he kept repeating, “You are beautiful. You have no idea how beautiful you are.”. He said, “It is such a waste, this life, all these misunderstandings.” I told him, that “I thought I was boring”, so he had not wanted to be with me….And he just stared at me, shocked, saying, “How could you think that!” ….yes, all these years, and the reason I am writing it down because I am too startled at life…I cannot believe that his and my story turned out to be like the story of Cathy and Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights…..I did not even believe that such a love existed…and now I am proved wrong…My childhood friend of so many years, who I had always remembered and loved for a long time, who I lost touch with, who now says he had always loved me too.

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Just a day

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One day with you, just one,

One beautiful dawn, and one beautiful sunset,

Food and drinks, and the soft touch of hands,

Lying with you watching the stars,

Yes, just one day, priceless, precious,

It will last a lifetime for me.

So many words, so many dreams,

So many left unsaid, so many never realised,

I want to say them to you, that one day,

And live those dreams, just that one day,

If it can be, you for me and me for you,

For that day, that one day.

I could call you my love, My love.

And sleep in your arms with dreams

That the morning never comes.

How will you forget me?

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How will you forget me?

Me that carries the same soul as yours,

When you look up at the sky, you will see my face

As one with the night sky, faintly glimmering like the stars,

You will see my eyes, looking at you, hoping that

One day you will look at me too, for a time long,

Longer than a lazy afternoon day,

Longer than a dark moonless night.

How will you forget the wind swept night?

When you rested your head on mine.

Who can you share that moment if not with me?

Who will turn up her face with yours,

feeling the rain laden wind lightly caressing your face,

Who will look at the clouds with you,

waiting for it to burst open in rain,

How will you forget me?

How will you forget the darkly lit room where we smoked

and hoped that the night goes on forever,

The music, the lights, and the tall chilled drinks,

The night that one dreams of, an ephemeral night,

Which one can go back to again and again.

Even if you wait for an entire lifetime, and hope that my

Memory fades, I will still be there, ever present,

How can you forget me? How can I forget you?